Assassinatrix09

[3/5/2015 7:39:57 PM] Canto: So last time, you had finished the Mystery of the House of Axe Murder Lesbians and had recovered memories of Dalton's final fate.

[3/5/2015 7:41:21 PM] Crow: ((To be totally fair there was only ONE murder lesbian! The other one was just a nice monogamous girl. She might have been hetero!))

[3/5/2015 7:41:35 PM] Canto: ((Yep! But Axe Murder Lesbian doesn't sound as good.))

[3/5/2015 7:42:34 PM] Crow: ((True!))

[3/5/2015 7:44:25 PM] Canto: Anyway, you're back on the road in the Explodomobile.

[3/5/2015 7:45:34 PM] Canto: Felix is driving, and Jasper is in the passenger seat.

[3/5/2015 7:45:37 PM] Crow: Crow likes the Explodomobile.

[3/5/2015 7:47:56 PM] Crow: Crow hangs out wherever she fits!

[3/5/2015 7:48:23 PM] Canto: You and Ruby are hanging out in the back. Jasper is fiddling with his cell phone. "So, looks like we have a new job here."

[3/5/2015 7:49:33 PM] Crow: Ooh. What is it? A chupacabra? An evil witch?

[3/5/2015 7:50:42 PM] Canto: Jasper:  Close! Apparently someone's raising the dead in a small town called Dryknife to the south.

[3/5/2015 7:51:32 PM] Crow: Ooh. Zombies? Or just, like... people?

[3/5/2015 7:52:37 PM] Canto: Jasper:  Zombies, apparently.

[3/5/2015 7:52:51 PM] Canto: Ruby:  Oh, good, zombies. I can kill the heck out of some zombies.

[3/5/2015 7:53:31 PM] Crow: Never fought 'em. Are these fast terrifying zombies or slow moving ones?

[3/5/2015 7:54:22 PM] Canto: Ruby:  Their efficiency greatly leans on how recently dead they are! Like, old corpses are slow and dusty.

[3/5/2015 7:55:18 PM] Crow: Hm. Okay. Anything I should know?

[3/5/2015 7:56:02 PM] Canto: Ruby:  so what's causing it?

[3/5/2015 7:56:45 PM] Canto: Jasper:  Unknown. If it's a person or individual critter causing it, then usually just incapacitating that person or critter.

[3/5/2015 7:57:04 PM] Canto: Jasper:  If there's something wrong with the burial ground, I have to reconsecrate the ground.

[3/5/2015 7:58:41 PM] Crow: ... wow, would that actually work?

[3/5/2015 7:59:08 PM] Canto: Jasper:  Reconsecrating the ground? Sure.

[3/5/2015 7:59:23 PM] Crow: It's not that I didn't believe in God or anything, it's just... having it be factual is weird.

[3/5/2015 8:00:15 PM] Canto: Jasper:  Well, there's a lot of theories out that that state that it's not the power of god, but latent positive psychic energy.

[3/5/2015 8:00:54 PM] Crow: ... I think I'll go with God, personally.

[3/5/2015 8:03:48 PM] Canto: Jasper shrugs. "Me too."

[3/5/2015 8:04:02 PM] Canto: Ruby:  Works for me!

[3/5/2015 8:04:14 PM] Canto: Felix:  Should I prepare the flamethrower?

[3/5/2015 8:05:15 PM] Crow: You have a flamethrower?

[3/5/2015 8:05:21 PM] Crow: They never let me play with a flamethrower.

[3/5/2015 8:05:46 PM] Canto: Ruby:  It's not a real flamethrower.

[3/5/2015 8:05:54 PM] Canto: Felix:  It throws flames.

[3/5/2015 8:06:10 PM] Canto: Ruby:  You made it out of a paint sprayer!

[3/5/2015 8:06:39 PM] Canto: Felix:  Does it not throw flames?

[3/5/2015 8:07:40 PM] Canto: Ruby:   Well, kinda.

[3/5/2015 8:07:50 PM] Canto: Felix:  I win.

[3/5/2015 8:08:03 PM] Crow: It throws flaaaaaaaaaames.

[3/5/2015 8:10:02 PM | Edited 8:10:22 PM] Canto: Jasper plugs the destination into the GPS, and stands up! "I'm going to take a nap.  Try and keep it down."

[3/5/2015 8:11:03 PM] Crow: But... but flamethrower.

[3/5/2015 8:11:31 PM] Canto: Felix:  I'll show you when we get there! It's pretty clever, if I say so myself.

[3/5/2015 8:11:38 PM] Crow: Yesssssssss.

[3/5/2015 8:11:53 PM] Crow: Hey, do you have any grenades?

[3/5/2015 8:15:26 PM] Canto: Felix:  Three! You mean, like, expody ones, right? I have about half a dozen tear gas canisters, too.

[3/5/2015 8:16:45 PM] Crow: Man. Almost makes you feel sorry for the zombies.

[3/5/2015 8:16:58 PM] Canto: Ruby:  Why? They're zombies!

[3/5/2015 8:18:53 PM] Canto: Ruby:  Their problems are pretty much over.

[3/5/2015 8:19:01 PM] Crow: Point!

[3/5/2015 8:20:43 PM] Crow: You guys are awesome.

[3/5/2015 8:21:08 PM] Canto: Felix:  Yep! You watch shotgun up here, Crow?

[3/5/2015 8:21:16 PM] Canto: Felix:  Ruby gets carsick.

[3/5/2015 8:22:04 PM] Crow: Sure!

[3/5/2015 8:24:10 PM] Crow: Crow heads up there and sits.

[3/5/2015 8:24:27 PM] Crow: I'm not a super great driver, though, so you should probably keep drivin'.

[3/5/2015 8:24:32 PM] Crow: I'm great with horses.

[3/5/2015 8:25:30 PM] Canto: Felix:  Don't worry, only I drive the Explodomobile.

[3/5/2015 8:28:28 PM] Crow: Thank goodness.

[3/5/2015 8:28:47 PM] Canto: Ruby:  Felix can't ride at all.

[3/5/2015 8:29:35 PM] Crow: You just need to find the right horse.

[3/5/2015 8:30:04 PM] Canto: Ruby:  We've had to ride in the past, and it didn't go so well.

[3/5/2015 8:30:16 PM] Crow: ... one with the personality of a La-Z-Boy recliner.

[3/5/2015 8:35:25 PM] Canto: Felix:  Do those exist?

[3/5/2015 8:35:31 PM] Crow: Yep.

[3/5/2015 8:36:34 PM] Canto: Felix:  Last time we had to ride we had to go out into the desert.

[3/5/2015 8:37:52 PM] Crow: Never tried that.

[3/5/2015 8:38:32 PM] Canto: Felix:  Well, it was more like scrubland. We couldn't find a car that could get out there, so we had to ride. And my butt was sore for a week after.

[3/5/2015 8:38:37 PM] Canto: Ruby:  no comment!

[3/5/2015 8:41:24 PM] Crow: Crow waggles her eyebrows at Ruby.

[3/5/2015 8:42:45 PM] Canto: Ruby grins!

[3/5/2015 8:43:47 PM] Crow: You sure it was the horse?

[3/5/2015 8:44:10 PM] Canto: Felix:  Why what else would it be?

[3/5/2015 8:44:23 PM] Crow: Ruby?

[3/5/2015 8:45:04 PM] Canto: Ruby:  I'm not one to judge what someone does in their own free time!

[3/5/2015 8:45:12 PM] Canto: Felix:  I will turn this RV around right now.

[3/5/2015 8:45:47 PM] Crow: Ooooh.

[3/5/2015 8:48:06 PM] Canto: Felix:  I will!

[3/5/2015 8:48:19 PM] Canto: Ruby:  Hey, people pay good money for spanking.

[3/5/2015 8:48:28 PM] Canto: Felix swerves dangerously!

[3/5/2015 8:49:51 PM] Canto: Ruby:  Alright, all right, I'll stop.

[3/5/2015 8:51:08 PM] Crow: Crow snrks.

[3/5/2015 8:51:25 PM] Crow: I don't know, he might be fun to spank.

[3/5/2015 8:51:58 PM] Canto: Felix:  I'm not!

[3/5/2015 8:52:39 PM] Crow: Aww.

[3/5/2015 8:52:45 PM] Crow: Well, there goes our plans for Friday night.

[3/5/2015 8:53:16 PM] Canto: Felix:  you can still spank each other, really, I won't stand in your way.

[3/5/2015 8:53:46 PM] Crow: Oh, I get it, he likes to watch.

[3/5/2015 8:54:02 PM] Canto: Felix:  Probably!

[3/5/2015 8:56:19 PM] Crow: Kinky!

[3/5/2015 8:56:54 PM] Canto: Felix:  I'd have to watch to see if I like it.

[3/5/2015 8:57:02 PM] Canto: Ruby is blushing!

[3/5/2015 8:57:48 PM] Crow: Aww, Ruby's blushing!

[3/5/2015 9:01:55 PM] Crow: Cute.

[3/5/2015 9:02:09 PM] Canto: Felix:  She blushes pretty easily.

[3/5/2015 9:03:05 PM] Crow: All over?

[3/5/2015 9:03:25 PM] Canto: Felix:  Yep!

[3/5/2015 9:03:44 PM] Crow: Crow wolf-whistles.

[3/5/2015 9:08:57 PM] Canto: Ruby buries her face in her hands!

[3/5/2015 9:09:03 PM] Crow: Hee.

[3/5/2015 9:09:24 PM] Crow: ... uh, you guys aren't like, weird about sexuality or anything, are you?

[3/5/2015 9:09:44 PM] Canto: Felix:  Not terribly. Unless leprechauns are involved.

[3/5/2015 9:11:29 PM] Canto: Felix:  then all bets are off.

[3/5/2015 9:11:53 PM] Crow: ... wow, I'd never even given that any thought.

[3/5/2015 9:12:01 PM] Crow: No, I'm just kinda borderline asexual, that's all.

[3/5/2015 9:15:14 PM] Canto: Ruby:  Oh, okay. What does that mean?

[3/5/2015 9:17:02 PM] Crow: Well, I'm not aromantic, so... basically I don't get why people find models sexy. If there's no emotional connection at all I don't really get the point.

[3/5/2015 9:18:57 PM] Crow: Like... butts are just butts, unless I like the person a butt is attached to, it's not sexy.

[3/5/2015 9:19:30 PM] Canto: Ruby:  Oh, okay. I think I get it.

[3/5/2015 9:20:49 PM] Crow: I don't. I mean, it seems like everybody's thinking about sex all the time, and it's so weird.

[3/5/2015 9:21:07 PM] Canto: Ruby:  Only most of the time.

[3/5/2015 9:23:34 PM] Crow: Yeah, but... it's so awkward.

[3/5/2015 9:23:59 PM] Crow: You'll be sitting there in a movie and people will start having sex on the screen and it's supposed to be ... well, I don't know. It just seems weird.

[3/5/2015 9:26:52 PM] Canto: Felix:  Well it is! Because in that scene? That room is filled with people holding cameras and lights and microphones!

[3/5/2015 9:27:51 PM] Crow: Exactly!

[3/5/2015 9:28:16 PM] Crow: It's different when you know and like somebody. Still kinda weird and awkward, but nice, too.

[3/5/2015 9:30:18 PM] Canto: Ruby:  Awkwardness is pretty part of it all, isn't it?

[3/5/2015 9:30:32 PM] Crow: Yeah.

[3/5/2015 9:30:35 PM] Crow: Crow shrugs.

[3/5/2015 9:31:19 PM] Crow: People get weird about being asexuality just like bisexuality though.

[3/5/2015 9:31:33 PM] Canto: Ruby:  That's not weird.

[3/5/2015 9:31:38 PM] Canto: Felix:  Yeah, we know weird.

[3/5/2015 9:33:26 PM] Crow: You know super weird.

[3/5/2015 9:36:51 PM] Canto: Felix:  Yep!

[3/5/2015 9:41:05 PM] Crow: Oh, and I am bisexual too. Yes, we're real, no we're not gay and in denial.

[3/5/2015 9:42:11 PM] Crow: But I think you guys already worked that out.

[3/5/2015 10:02:41 PM] Canto: Ruby:  Oh, just a bit.

[3/5/2015 10:03:24 PM] Crow: Been given a lot of crap over both those things over the years.

[3/5/2015 10:04:57 PM] Canto: Ruby:  Really? Well, people are jerks.

[3/5/2015 10:06:30 PM] Crow: But you guys are awesome! And totally hot.

[3/5/2015 10:11:00 PM] Canto: Felix:  I know.

[3/5/2015 10:11:04 PM] Canto: Ruby blushes!

[3/5/2015 10:12:43 PM] Crow: Crow waggles her eyebrows.

[3/5/2015 10:22:12 PM] Canto: Felix:  I hope there's a necromancer.

[3/5/2015 10:24:05 PM] Canto: Ruby:  There's never a necromancer.

[3/5/2015 10:24:20 PM] Crow: A hot one in a skimpy bikini and a suggestive staff?

[3/5/2015 10:29:48 PM] Canto: Felix:  Sure! maybe with one of those skull bras.

[3/5/2015 10:31:07 PM] Crow: God those are so uncomfortable. You have NO idea.

[3/5/2015 10:31:49 PM] Canto: Felix:  no, I really really don't.

[3/5/2015 10:31:50 PM] Crow: ... did I mention I was in burlesque?

[3/5/2015 10:31:57 PM] Canto: Felix:  You did! Tell me more.

[3/5/2015 10:32:17 PM] Crow: That was an orc costume from our Lord of the Rings sketch.

[3/5/2015 10:33:09 PM] Crow: Green body paint takes way longer to get off than you'd think.

[3/5/2015 10:34:30 PM] Crow: Which is why we only had one Orion slavegirl for the Star Trek show.

[3/5/2015 10:35:10 PM] Crow: Oh, I played a sexy Dalek once.

[3/5/2015 10:35:22 PM] Canto: Felix:  What's a Dalek?

[3/5/2015 10:35:25 PM] Crow: ... we kinda specialized in cons for a while.

[3/5/2015 10:35:32 PM] Canto: Ruby:  Those robot things from Doctor Who.

[3/5/2015 10:35:40 PM] Crow: It's a Doctor Who thing, they go EX TER MIN ATE a lot.

[3/5/2015 10:35:42 PM] Canto: Ruby:  how do you make a salt shaker sexy, though?

[3/5/2015 10:36:47 PM] Crow: The bottom part was a low-cut stiff skirt and the top part was like, a fancy bra. There was a headdress too.

[3/5/2015 10:37:02 PM] Crow: Most of the joke was not being able to climb stairs.

[3/5/2015 10:37:25 PM] Crow: And skin care.

[3/5/2015 10:37:30 PM] Crow: EX FOL I ATE.

[3/5/2015 10:41:12 PM] Crow: Burlesque is the closest women can get really to being in a very over-the-top drag show, it's super fun.

[3/5/2015 10:42:36 PM] Crow: Broad comedy by broads! People sauntering around in inappropriately tiny costumes! More jokes about sex than you can shake a certain anatomical part at!

[3/5/2015 10:43:45 PM] Canto: Ruby:  That does sound pretty fun.

[3/5/2015 10:46:54 PM] Crow: It's lots of fun.

[3/5/2015 10:51:01 PM] Canto: Ruby:  We should do that! It can be our cover story.

[3/5/2015 10:51:17 PM] Crow: Felix would look great in a banana hammock.

[3/6/2015 9:52:16 PM] Canto: Felix:  I really would.

[3/6/2015 9:52:35 PM] Crow: He can even sing!

[3/6/2015 9:53:08 PM] Canto: Felix:  What would Jasper do?

[3/6/2015 9:53:39 PM] Crow: Manage.

[3/6/2015 9:55:27 PM] Canto: Felix:  Hmmm. We could be the only troupe with a Priest managing us.

[3/6/2015 9:58:03 PM] Crow: I don't think his higher-ups would approve.

[3/6/2015 9:59:54 PM] Canto: Felix:  I'm not aware of the Jesuit policy on burlesque.

[3/6/2015 10:00:49 PM] Crow: I doubt they're pro.

[3/6/2015 10:04:25 PM] Canto: Felix:  Probably not.

[3/6/2015 10:04:42 PM] Canto: Felix:  Well. We have about five hours to Dryknife. I'm gonna stop for donuts and coffee.

[3/6/2015 10:05:34 PM] Crow: Awesome.

[3/6/2015 10:07:03 PM] Canto: He pulls over? "Okay.  What should I get?  Make your requests now or it's all jelly donuts."

[3/6/2015 10:07:14 PM] Canto: Ruby:  he's not bluffing.

[3/6/2015 10:07:15 PM] Crow: Frosting with sprinkles.

[3/6/2015 10:09:07 PM] Canto: Ruby:  Maple bars.

[3/6/2015 10:09:16 PM] Canto: Felix nods, and goes inside!

[3/6/2015 10:09:35 PM] Canto: Ruby gets in the drivers seat as soon as he's out of sight and adjusts it.

[3/6/2015 10:09:50 PM] Crow: ... you gonna drive?

[3/6/2015 10:10:05 PM] Canto: Ruby:  nope, just messing with him.

[3/6/2015 10:10:15 PM] Crow: pft. Don't forget the radio.

[3/6/2015 10:12:11 PM] Canto: Ruby:  Of course.

[3/6/2015 10:12:26 PM] Canto: She adjusts it and finds a local Gospel station!

[3/6/2015 10:13:07 PM] Crow: Heheehe.

[3/6/2015 10:14:11 PM] Canto: Suddenly, you get a prickly feeling on the back of your neck!

[3/6/2015 10:14:21 PM] Crow: Ah, crap.

[3/6/2015 10:14:25 PM] Crow: Something supernatural's around here.

[3/6/2015 10:14:56 PM] Crow: We should probably make sure he's okay.

[3/6/2015 10:16:25 PM] Canto: Ruby:  ... evil donuts?

[3/6/2015 10:19:13 PM] Crow: Or a perfectly decent vampire, or who knows what.

[3/6/2015 10:19:18 PM] Canto: Felix runs out!

[3/6/2015 10:19:23 PM] Canto: Felix:  Bodies!

[3/6/2015 10:19:52 PM] Canto: He comes back in the car and goes for one of his guns!

[3/6/2015 10:20:55 PM] Crow: woah, question answered. Okay.

[3/6/2015 10:20:59 PM] Crow: Crow grabs her machetes.

[3/6/2015 10:21:47 PM] Canto: Ruby:  I'll go wake Jasper! He won't wake up otherwise.

[3/6/2015 10:22:39 PM] Crow: ... oh right, other people can't normally feel it.

[3/6/2015 10:22:48 PM] Crow: I'll go out and watch the entrance.

[3/6/2015 10:22:55 PM] Crow: Crow does that! With her sharps.

[3/6/2015 10:26:46 PM] Canto: You and Felix go to the Donut Shop! It's about... 11 in the evening. This is a small town, there's no traffic around. Do you go inside?

[3/6/2015 10:28:16 PM] Crow: Should we wait for them, or just go in?

[3/6/2015 10:28:22 PM] Crow: ... I don't know how teams work, really.

[3/6/2015 10:29:53 PM] Canto: Felix:  Let's go in. You can be my mystical minesweeper. They're not terribly far away anyway.

[3/6/2015 10:30:04 PM] Canto: Your spidysense is tingling!

[3/6/2015 10:30:51 PM] Crow: Oh, I know, I can feel it.

[3/6/2015 10:30:58 PM] Crow: If they bite me, do I zombie out?

[3/6/2015 10:33:26 PM] Canto: Felix:  I don't think this is zombies, that's in Dryknife. Five hours south of here. This is just random mystical nonsense we've apparentlys stepped into.

[3/6/2015 10:34:13 PM] Crow: Oh! What'd you see in there, then?

[3/6/2015 10:35:15 PM] Canto: Felix:  Bodies. The clerk at the counter and an old guy in one of the booths. But if your magic stuff is tingling, that means there's something more.

[3/6/2015 10:36:39 PM] Crow: like, shriveled and old, new? Drained of blood? Messily dismembered?

[3/6/2015 10:37:26 PM] Canto: Felix:  I didn't see any blood, just took a pulse.

[3/6/2015 10:37:47 PM] Crow: Huh. Okay.

[3/6/2015 10:37:51 PM] Crow: Crow opens the door warily.

[3/6/2015 10:38:47 PM] Canto: It jingles!

[3/6/2015 10:39:04 PM] Canto: Loretta Lynn is on the radio!

[3/6/2015 10:39:58 PM] Crow: Crow looks around, trying to assess the situation!

[3/6/2015 10:42:51 PM] Canto: It's as he said! There's a clerk, looks like a middle-aged guy, slumped over the counter. There's another guy, older, ine one of the booths, slumped back. He looks like he's just sleeping. There's no blood you can see.

[3/6/2015 10:44:32 PM] Crow: Crow frowns, and checks them for wounds.

[3/6/2015 10:45:42 PM] Canto: Gimme a roll!

[3/6/2015 10:46:20 PM] Crow: ((2/10))

[3/6/2015 10:47:34 PM] Canto: Which one do you check first?

[3/6/2015 10:47:44 PM] Crow: Crow checks the old guy.

[3/6/2015 10:49:00 PM] Canto: He was half finished with his donut! You cannot find a reason he's dead.

[3/6/2015 10:50:11 PM] Crow: Poison?

[3/6/2015 10:50:50 PM] Canto: Felix is watching over the room warily, ready to give you covering fire! "Maybe.  Magic poison?"

[3/6/2015 10:51:06 PM] Canto: Felix:  Can you.... like, focus your mojo on someone?

[3/6/2015 10:51:12 PM] Canto: Or is it like a geiger counter?

[3/6/2015 10:51:38 PM] Crow: It's more like spidey sense, but I'll try.

[3/6/2015 10:51:43 PM] Crow: Crow tries focusing on the dead guy.

[3/6/2015 10:52:42 PM] Canto: Roll again!

[3/6/2015 10:53:52 PM] Crow: ((9/10!))

[3/6/2015 10:56:03 PM] Canto: Better! Yeah, there's definitely some mojo in the corpse!

[3/6/2015 10:57:25 PM] Crow: Body's got some sort of magic in it.

[3/6/2015 11:01:44 PM] Canto: Felix:  How about the other one?

[3/6/2015 11:01:49 PM] Canto: Jasper and Ruby show up!

[3/6/2015 11:02:04 PM] Canto: Jasper:  What's going on? He rubs his eyes. He's wearing a tracksuit.

[3/6/2015 11:02:07 PM] Crow: Crow checks it.

[3/6/2015 11:02:16 PM] Canto: Gimme another roll!

[3/6/2015 11:02:23 PM] Crow: Well, now I know what priests sleep in.

[3/6/2015 11:02:31 PM] Crow: ((7/10))

[3/6/2015 11:07:25 PM] Canto: More of that mojo in this body! But more, you find a wound on his inner arm, at the joint between upper and lower arm.

[3/6/2015 11:07:44 PM] Crow: Crow inspects it.

[3/6/2015 11:09:31 PM] Canto: No blood!

[3/6/2015 11:10:07 PM] Canto: You know from your training, that some vampires like the arteries because different arteries give the blood different tastes!

[3/6/2015 11:10:54 PM] Crow: ... vampire, I think.

[3/6/2015 11:11:03 PM] Crow: Crow checks the first body to see if it's an undead vampy person.

[3/6/2015 11:14:05 PM] Canto: Nope! On closer examination, that one seems to have no blood either.

[3/6/2015 11:14:19 PM] Canto: Jasper says little prayers over the bodies.

[3/6/2015 11:15:02 PM] Crow: ... why would a vampire drain two people like this?

[3/6/2015 11:15:25 PM] Canto: Felix:  You know a lot more about vampires than any of us, Crow.

[3/6/2015 11:15:47 PM] Canto: Jasper:  It's true. Most of the lore I know about them is blaringly inaccurate.

[3/6/2015 11:16:40 PM] Crow: Well, two people drained totally dry is a lot of blood.

[3/6/2015 11:17:07 PM] Crow: So either one vampire doing some seriously blood-expending things, or multiple vampires.

[3/6/2015 11:17:18 PM] Canto: Ruby looks out the window! "I haven't seen any traffic since we got here, have you guys?"

[3/6/2015 11:17:30 PM] Crow: Nope.

[3/6/2015 11:18:55 PM] Canto: Felix:  ...no. Crap. How big is this town?

[3/6/2015 11:19:08 PM] Canto: Jasper consults his smartphone!

[3/6/2015 11:19:46 PM] Canto: Jasper:  This is barely a town, really. It's more of a truck stop.

[3/6/2015 11:19:51 PM] Crow: ... if they ... okay, good.

[3/6/2015 11:19:59 PM] Crow: If they ate a whole town we'd need to get out and get backup.

[3/6/2015 11:21:58 PM] Crow: Can't handle more'n'a few at a time.

[3/6/2015 11:22:13 PM] Crow: Which is generally okay because they're not usually super into togetherness and brotherly love.

[3/6/2015 11:22:40 PM] Canto: Felix:  Good.

[3/6/2015 11:22:49 PM] Canto: Gimme a roll, again, please!

[3/6/2015 11:22:58 PM] Crow: It's an apex predator thing.

[3/6/2015 11:23:07 PM] Crow: ((9/10!))

[3/6/2015 11:26:22 PM] Crow: Mountain lions, not wolves.

[3/6/2015 11:27:13 PM] Canto: Okay, you kinda zone out a bit as you access your government-issue hypno-implanted vampire database. The wounds aren't consistent with the Dalton-type humanoid vampire. These aren't the extended canines that most humanoid vampires draw blood with. This is more likely some more monstrous vampire spawn. Like the monster you fought in that burned out house.

[3/6/2015 11:27:50 PM] Crow: I don't think it's a humanoid vampire.

[3/6/2015 11:27:56 PM] Crow: ... hey, maybe it is a chupacabra.

[3/6/2015 11:28:54 PM] Canto: Felix:  These aren't goats! Are they? Are they goats in human form? Is that a thing?

[3/6/2015 11:29:13 PM] Canto: The residual energy you sense in them might be some kind of venom?

[3/6/2015 11:29:33 PM] Crow: No, but chupacabras are basically animal vampires, right?

[3/6/2015 11:29:54 PM] Crow: The bodies might have some sort of venom left in them or something.

[3/6/2015 11:32:23 PM] Canto: Felix:  Venom?

[3/6/2015 11:32:32 PM] Canto: Felix:  Do vampires do that?

[3/6/2015 11:32:53 PM] Crow: ... I don't know.

[3/6/2015 11:33:41 PM] Canto: ((By the way, feel free to make up any vampire lore you want for this world's vampires. :) ))

[3/6/2015 11:35:38 PM] Canto: Jasper:  Well. How do you think we should proceed, Crow? This is your area of expertise, we'll follow your lead on this.

[3/6/2015 11:35:43 PM] Canto: Felix and Ruby both nod!

[3/6/2015 11:36:26 PM] Crow: Well, it probably isn't capable of mind control, so we're good on that score.

[3/6/2015 11:37:09 PM] Crow: It might be able to, say, make one person freeze in their tracks, but it won't be able to handle much more than that.

[3/6/2015 11:37:28 PM] Crow: So pair up and search, maybe?

[3/6/2015 11:40:23 PM] Canto: Jasper nods. "Right.  Get your headsets on and let's find this thing."

[3/6/2015 11:41:59 PM] Crow: Crow puts hers on!

[3/6/2015 11:42:06 PM] Crow: Jasper, you should stay with me.

[3/6/2015 11:45:17 PM] Canto: Jasper:  Think so?

[3/6/2015 11:45:32 PM] Canto: Jasper:  all right. Let's do it.

[3/6/2015 11:46:48 PM] Crow: Yeah.

[3/6/2015 11:47:02 PM] Crow: And anybody who sees anything, say it right away. Even if it's only "yipe!"

[3/6/2015 11:47:15 PM] Canto: Felix: That's why we have these things!

[3/6/2015 11:47:20 PM] Canto: he points at his headset.

[3/6/2015 11:48:32 PM] Crow: Exactly!

[3/6/2015 11:48:57 PM] Crow: Crow looks at Jasper. "C'mon."

[3/6/2015 11:49:31 PM] Canto: Okay! Which direction do you go in?

[3/6/2015 11:49:48 PM] Crow: Crow heads for the kitchen!

[3/6/2015 11:49:59 PM] Crow: Crow saw Jurassic Park.

[3/6/2015 11:51:20 PM] Canto: Okay! Ruby and Felix head outside, to scout area around the Donut Hut. DonHut.

[3/6/2015 11:55:50 PM] Crow: Crow opens the kitchen door!

[3/6/2015 11:57:04 PM] Canto: Creak! Okay! This place has been turned over! There's flour everywhere, ingredients have been rummaged and ransacked.

[3/6/2015 11:58:32 PM] Crow: Crow begins methodically searching the kitchen.

[3/6/2015 11:59:02 PM] Canto: There are tracks in the flour!

[3/6/2015 11:59:50 PM] Crow: Crow follows them!

[3/7/2015 12:01:12 AM] Canto: They look mostly human. But still not quite right. Looks like whoever it is came through the kitchen, and went out there into the DonHut, and left back through the back door that's attached to the kitchen.

[3/7/2015 12:03:13 AM] Crow: Crow heads out the back door, carefully checking the sides as she does. Again, she has seen Jurassic Park. :)

[3/7/2015 12:06:49 AM] Canto: Okay! Roll a d10.

[3/7/2015 12:07:21 AM] Crow: ((8/10))

[3/7/2015 12:17:22 AM] Canto: Okay! You head outside! There's a nasty smell from the dumpsters, and you find another corpse, with similar wounds.

[3/7/2015 12:19:09 AM] Crow: Ugh.

[3/7/2015 12:19:13 AM] Crow: Crow eyes the tracks!

[3/7/2015 12:21:49 AM] Canto: You see the flour! It heads in a vaguely southern direction. It looks like the other dead body was another employee out for a smoke. There's two cars out here, and off in the distance a bit, an eighteen wheeler truck.

[3/7/2015 12:24:47 AM] Crow: Crow follows, machetes at the ready, gesturing to Jasper to follow her!

[3/7/2015 12:25:22 AM] Canto: He follows quietly! Staying a good five feet back. Roll!

[3/7/2015 12:27:56 AM] Crow: ((7!))

[3/7/2015 12:32:56 AM] Canto: Okay! The flour kinda runs out but you have a good feeling for the direction they're headed in, which is back to the big rig!

[3/7/2015 12:34:16 AM] Crow: Crow heads that way!

[3/8/2015 7:39:43 PM] Canto: You were hunting for a vampire monster.

[3/8/2015 7:45:21 PM] Canto: It had killed three people!

[3/8/2015 7:45:59 PM] Crow: Crow before she gets to the truck, tells Ruby and Felix she sees tracks in the back heading to the truck!

[3/8/2015 7:47:43 PM] Canto: Felix:  Right, gotcha. Nothing out front.

[3/8/2015 7:48:17 PM] Crow: Heading for the truck.

[3/8/2015 7:48:27 PM] Crow: Crow proceeds to the truck, motioning for Jasper to stick with her.

[3/8/2015 7:49:27 PM] Canto: He does so, clutching his pistol!

[3/8/2015 7:50:30 PM] Crow: Crow tries to open the back of it.

[3/8/2015 7:51:22 PM] Canto: It's one of those big trucks. There's a trailer and then the truck itself, which is one of those with the sleeper compartment. The trailer itself is locked.

[3/8/2015 7:53:14 PM] Crow: Crow tries to open up the truck itself, then.

[3/8/2015 7:53:47 PM] Canto: Okay! Roll a die.

[3/8/2015 7:54:35 PM] Crow: ((9/10))

[3/8/2015 7:57:36 PM] Canto: As she goes to the door, her spider sense goes off and a slim figure comes up from under the truck and swipes at you!

[3/8/2015 8:03:52 PM] Crow: Woah!

[3/8/2015 8:03:56 PM] Crow: Crow jumps back.

[3/8/2015 8:05:44 PM] Canto: It's this pale sickly looking critter with long spindly limbs! It's swiping at you with claws.

[3/8/2015 8:07:23 PM] Crow: Crow slices at it with her machete!

[3/8/2015 8:07:32 PM] Crow: Spotted it!

[3/8/2015 8:10:27 PM] Canto: You slice it! It's very fast, but nothing you haven't seen before. You can get a good feel how fast and strong it is.

[3/8/2015 8:11:43 PM] Crow: It's pretty fast, and definitely stronger than a person.

[3/8/2015 8:13:54 PM] Canto: Roll again, please!

[3/8/2015 8:14:20 PM] Crow: ((10/10!))

[3/8/2015 8:15:33 PM] Canto: It spits at you! you dodge it evenly, but, like, as the burst of spit goes past your head, you feel mojo coming off that spit! Some kind of poison.

[3/8/2015 8:16:08 PM] Crow: It's poisonous!

[3/8/2015 8:17:05 PM] Canto: Jasper dodges! Well, he doesn't dodge as much as he huddles down to the ground.

[3/8/2015 8:18:21 PM] Crow: Crow gets between the thing and Jasper.

[3/8/2015 8:20:40 PM] Canto: Easy enough! It swipes at you again! You dodge it evenhandedly. It snarls.

[3/8/2015 8:23:22 PM] Crow: Come out come out wherever you are....

[3/8/2015 8:23:31 PM] Crow: Crow backs up a little to try to coax the thing out from under the truck.

[3/8/2015 8:23:57 PM] Canto: It leaps out at you! roll for me.

[3/8/2015 8:28:33 PM] Crow: ((5))

[3/8/2015 8:31:38 PM] Canto: It gets you with its claws, raking them across your midsection! It stinnnnnnnnngs.

[3/8/2015 8:32:36 PM] Crow: Ow, shit, I'm hit, get back here, you guys!

[3/8/2015 8:32:58 PM] Crow: Crow is afraid she'll get paralyzed and leave Jasper alone with the thing!

[3/8/2015 8:33:38 PM] Crow: Crow slashes at the creature with both her knives, focusing on defense.

[3/8/2015 8:34:35 PM] Canto: Nope, not paralyzed! You lop off one of its hands and it hisses! You spot Felix and Ruby rushing up! Felix hangs back and brings up a rifle to bear while Ruby rushes forward. Roll again!

[3/8/2015 8:35:20 PM] Crow: ((9/10!))

[3/8/2015 8:35:52 PM] Crow: Crow focuses on defense; primarily defending Jasper and secondarily, herself.

[3/8/2015 8:36:58 PM] Canto: All right! You feeling a buzzing in your head! But it passes. Everyone else is frozen, but you and the vampire.

[3/8/2015 8:37:47 PM] Crow: Urgh. What the...

[3/8/2015 8:38:18 PM] Canto: It hisses at you!

[3/8/2015 8:39:32 PM] Crow: Crow goes on the offensive!

[3/8/2015 8:41:41 PM] Canto: Okay! You cut it again, and it tries to spit at you again. Again, it misses.

[3/8/2015 8:42:51 PM] Crow: Come on, come on. Make a mistake, bloodsucker.

[3/8/2015 8:43:06 PM] Crow: Crow decides to form a defensive wall and simply wait for an opening.

[3/8/2015 8:44:11 PM] Canto: Gimme a roll!

[3/8/2015 8:44:51 PM] Crow: ((8!))

[3/8/2015 8:46:38 PM] Canto: You get one! You use your machetes to scisoor its head off.

[3/8/2015 8:47:56 PM] Crow: Rarrr.

[3/8/2015 8:48:01 PM] Crow: ... got it.

[3/8/2015 8:48:12 PM] Canto: Everyone else can move again!

[3/8/2015 8:48:44 PM] Canto: Jasper:  Huh. Guess that answers your question.

[3/8/2015 8:48:51 PM] Crow: ... which question?

[3/8/2015 8:48:55 PM] Crow: Are you guys okay?

[3/8/2015 8:50:36 PM] Canto: Ruby:  Well, I can move again.

[3/8/2015 8:50:48 PM] Canto: Jasper:  Whether or not you can still resist vampire mind-powers.

[3/8/2015 8:52:06 PM] Crow: Oh.

[3/8/2015 8:52:12 PM] Crow: ... I just figured it was the venom.

[3/8/2015 8:52:34 PM] Crow: 'cause hey, I'm poisoned!

[3/8/2015 8:53:02 PM] Crow: ... I think I want some pie. Was there pie? Is it bad to want to buy some pie from a restaurant where everyone is dead?

[3/8/2015 8:53:56 PM] Canto: Felix:  I don't think so. They mostly did donuts.

[3/8/2015 8:54:51 PM] Canto: But yeah, you defnitely felt the vampire using his brain powers, that was the buzzing you felt in your head. It tried to freeze everyone, but it didn't work on you, ust the others.

[3/8/2015 8:55:01 PM] Canto: Felix:  But I will buy you three pies.

[3/8/2015 8:55:02 PM] Crow: How do we um.... clean this up?

[3/8/2015 8:56:56 PM] Crow: Or do we just have someone we call?

[3/8/2015 8:57:30 PM] Canto: Jasper:  I'm going to use the phone inside the donut shop and call the cops. We'll be gone. Eventuallly, given the wounds and stuff, it will be tossed up the chain to your old bosses.

[3/8/2015 8:58:02 PM] Canto: Jasper:  And Albert will take care of it from there.

[3/8/2015 8:58:07 PM] Crow: They won't, like... find our DNA or anything?

[3/8/2015 9:00:42 PM] Canto: Felix:  What would they do if they found it? clone us. Well, maybe.

[3/8/2015 9:00:57 PM] Canto: Jasper:  Nah, we'll be fine. They know there's people like us out there.

[3/8/2015 9:01:24 PM] Canto: Jasper:  We'll tell Albert to keep his eye open.

[3/8/2015 9:01:40 PM] Crow: ... still not over the whole Albert thing. Albert.

[3/8/2015 9:04:09 PM] Canto: Ruby:  C'mon, let's get that scratch looked at. Don't need you turning into one of them.

[3/8/2015 9:05:39 PM] Crow: Oh god, I hope that doesn't happen. Yeah, okay.

[3/8/2015 9:06:11 PM] Crow: Crow pulls her top off. It's decidedly unsexy, as she's bleeding and poisoned and worried about it.

[3/8/2015 9:06:27 PM] Crow: Crow is wearing a bra anyway.

[3/8/2015 9:06:32 PM] Canto: Yep! The wound is tingly.

[3/8/2015 9:06:51 PM] Canto: Ruby looks at it. "Doesn't look too deep.  C'mon, let's get to the, I'll get you patched up."

[3/8/2015 9:06:53 PM] Crow: It feels all tingly-like.

[3/8/2015 9:06:56 PM] Crow: Okay.

[3/8/2015 9:13:39 PM] Crow: Crow goes with Ruby, fretting a bit.

[3/8/2015 9:14:31 PM] Canto: You go and you guys get it cleaned up. She's right, it's not terribly deep. She washes it out.

[3/8/2015 9:17:21 PM] Crow: Owowow. Okay, it's not tingly anymore....

[3/8/2015 9:17:53 PM] Canto: And you get it bandaged up!

[3/8/2015 9:17:58 PM] Canto: Ruby:  That was pretty badass!

[3/8/2015 9:18:31 PM] Crow: Meh. I got sloppy.

[3/8/2015 9:18:40 PM] Crow: I should've been more careful, I coulda got Jasper killed back there.

[3/8/2015 9:19:48 PM] Canto: Ruby:  ...how?

[3/8/2015 9:22:33 PM] Crow: Well, I got hit and it had venom.

[3/8/2015 9:22:42 PM] Crow: If the venom had been a paralytic he'd've been pretty boned 'til you guys got there.

[3/8/2015 9:24:27 PM] Canto: Ruby:   So? You can't control what happens in these fights.

[3/8/2015 9:25:24 PM] Crow: Well, I kinda can.

[3/8/2015 9:25:52 PM] Crow: I'm not gonna lilke, commit seppuku in front of the trailer or anything. Just next time I should be more careful, that's all.

[3/8/2015 9:26:56 PM] Canto: Ruby:  Oh, okay. But you're not one of those types that blames every little thing that goes wrong on what you 'could' have done, right?

[3/8/2015 9:30:15 PM] Crow: Um, I don't think so.

[3/8/2015 9:30:19 PM] Crow: Sometimes I blame gnomes.

[3/8/2015 9:35:20 PM] Canto: Ruby:  Good, good. Felix used to be like that. Used to blame everything that went wrong on himself. It was reaaaaaally annoying. LIke we couldn't make our own mistakes!

[3/8/2015 9:36:02 PM] Crow: Well, there wasn't anybody else involved this time, so.

[3/8/2015 9:36:05 PM] Crow: It was either me, or gnomes.

[3/8/2015 9:37:07 PM] Canto: Ruby:  You can't trust those gnomes. Wait, is that speciest?

[3/8/2015 9:37:27 PM] Crow: ... are gnomes real?

[3/8/2015 9:39:19 PM] Canto: Ruby:  Not that I know of!

[3/8/2015 9:39:46 PM] Canto: Ruby:  There, all bandaged up. you should be okay. It was a pretty shallow cut.

[3/8/2015 9:39:57 PM] Crow: Thanks!

[3/8/2015 9:40:13 PM] Crow: Crow grabs a new shirt and puts it on.

[3/8/2015 9:42:38 PM] Canto: Ruby:  I've gotten retty good at cleaning my own wounds. It's kinda fun to use First Aid on others for a change!

[3/8/2015 9:44:38 PM] Crow: Hee.

[3/8/2015 9:44:46 PM] Crow: Well, I hope you don't get too many chances.

[3/8/2015 9:46:41 PM] Canto: Ruby grins.

[3/8/2015 9:46:58 PM] Canto: Felix and Jasper come back in! Felix has several boxes of donuts.

[3/8/2015 9:48:45 PM] Crow: Donuts! You left money, right?

[3/8/2015 9:49:12 PM] Crow: Ruby fixed me up. She's the best!

[3/8/2015 9:49:36 PM] Canto: Felix:  Yes, yes, I left money in the register, Jasper made me.

[3/8/2015 9:51:29 PM] Crow: Stealing is bad, Felix.

[3/8/2015 9:53:28 PM] Canto: Felix:  Yeah, yeah. Personally I think leaving all those donuts to go stale is the real crime.

[3/8/2015 9:53:54 PM] Crow: That is also true!

[3/8/2015 9:57:38 PM] Canto: Jasper:  all right. I called the police. We should get out of here.

[3/8/2015 9:57:47 PM] Canto: Felix:  Right. Back to the zombie job?

[3/8/2015 9:58:28 PM] Crow: Yeah! back to the zombie job! And Jasper goes back to his nap.

[3/8/2015 10:04:28 PM] Canto: Jasper:  Once I have some tea to settle me down, I think. I'll put it on.

[3/8/2015 10:04:34 PM] Canto: Felix gets into the driver's seat.

[3/8/2015 10:05:11 PM] Crow: Okay. Where do you want me?

[3/8/2015 10:05:55 PM] Canto: Ruby:  you should take it easy. You got scratched by a vampire monster, after all.

[3/8/2015 10:06:08 PM] Crow: Well, yeah, I'm not drivin'.

[3/8/2015 10:06:15 PM] Crow: Crow nabs a donut and munches it.

[3/8/2015 10:07:41 PM] Crow: But I can hang with Jasper or sit in the front with Felix or chill with Ruby back here, it is all good.

[3/8/2015 10:09:52 PM] Canto: Felix:  We don't have any assigned seating, Crow! Sit where you want.

[3/8/2015 10:10:41 PM] Crow: Oohoo, but if I sat on your lap you'd have a hard time driving.

[3/8/2015 10:10:45 PM] Crow: Crow waggles her eyebrows.

[3/8/2015 10:14:26 PM] Canto: Felix:  ... I'm willing to try it.

[3/8/2015 10:15:47 PM] Crow: Crow snrks.

[3/8/2015 10:16:17 PM] Crow: Nah, but I'll keep you company up there for a while anyway, unless Ruby wants to.

[3/8/2015 10:16:31 PM] Crow: But you said she got carsick sometimes, so.

[3/8/2015 10:22:17 PM] Canto: Ruby:  I do. I'll help with the tea.

[3/8/2015 10:22:23 PM] Crow: Okay.

[3/8/2015 10:22:49 PM] Crow: Crow kisses Ruby on the cheek and carefully (to avoid opening her poor tummy wound) hops into the front passenger seat.

[3/8/2015 10:28:24 PM] Canto: You get on the road again!

[3/8/2015 10:28:30 PM] Canto: And we'll leave it there.

[3/13/2015 9:15:23 PM] Iskandar: Here! On the road again.

[3/13/2015 9:15:59 PM] Crow: ((I just can't wait to get back on the road again!))

[3/13/2015 9:18:17 PM] Iskandar: So you killed a vampire!

[3/13/2015 9:18:26 PM] Iskandar: At a donut shop.

[3/13/2015 9:21:16 PM] Crow: Crow is still slightly worried about possibly being poisoned!

[3/13/2015 9:21:29 PM] Crow: Crow is in the front seat with Felix drivin'.

[3/13/2015 9:22:31 PM] Iskandar: Yep! You drive a ways. Roll a d10!

[3/13/2015 9:22:47 PM] Crow: ((6!))

[3/13/2015 9:23:11 PM] Iskandar: You get super nauseous! Roll to race to the bathroom. (Just kidding.)

[3/13/2015 9:25:10 PM] Crow: Crow doesn't get car sick!

[3/13/2015 9:25:28 PM] Iskandar: Yep! Probably the poison.

[3/13/2015 9:25:43 PM] Crow: ... oh man, I feel sick.

[3/13/2015 9:27:22 PM] Iskandar: Yep! you are super nauseous.

[3/13/2015 9:27:29 PM] Iskandar: Felix:  Want me to pull over?

[3/13/2015 9:27:46 PM] Crow: Yeah, maybe.

[3/13/2015 9:27:56 PM] Crow: Ugh. It would be kind of hilarious to die of poisoning at this point.

[3/13/2015 9:32:03 PM] Iskandar: Felix pulls over! "Well, better in than out?  You're not dying on our watch."

[3/13/2015 9:33:02 PM] Crow: Crow gets out and throws up into the ditch!

[3/13/2015 9:35:38 PM] Iskandar: Blorg!

[3/13/2015 9:36:04 PM] Iskandar: Jasper comes out!

[3/13/2015 9:36:45 PM] Iskandar: ... of the RV.

[3/13/2015 9:37:58 PM] Crow: ... sorry.

[3/13/2015 9:39:16 PM] Iskandar: Jasper:  For what?

[3/13/2015 9:39:34 PM] Crow: Almost letting you get killed and stopping the car so I could hork? Do you have any water?

[3/13/2015 9:41:43 PM] Iskandar: He hands you a bottle. "You didn't get me killed.  Wait, was the vampire you all along?"

[3/13/2015 9:45:03 PM] Crow: No, of course not.

[3/13/2015 9:45:08 PM] Crow: Crow swishes and spits.

[3/13/2015 9:46:04 PM] Iskandar: Jasper:  Then don't apologize for things you didn't do. ... and this is a Priest telling you this. Of the Catholic faith.

[3/13/2015 9:49:26 PM] Crow: .... point.

[3/13/2015 9:50:58 PM] Iskandar: Jasper:  Now get inside, we're gonna see if we have anyhting for that poison.

[3/13/2015 9:51:33 PM] Crow: Right.

[3/13/2015 9:51:41 PM] Crow: Crow jumps back into the RV!

[3/13/2015 10:00:31 PM] Iskandar: Jasper starts rummaging through supplies. "Felix!  Where did you stash the stuff we got to treat the Balor infections in that Ohio town?"

[3/13/2015 10:00:44 PM] Crow: What's a Balor?

[3/13/2015 10:00:44 PM] Iskandar: Felix:  Between the napalm and the roadflares.

[3/13/2015 10:05:33 PM] Iskandar: JAsper:  An infection spread by imps that gives people crimson-skin and makes them evil.

[3/13/2015 10:05:57 PM] Crow: ... literally? Like... they start tying girls to railroad tracks and stuff?

[3/13/2015 10:06:53 PM] Iskandar: Felix:  That did happen. This old guy did try to tie up Ruby.

[3/13/2015 10:07:00 PM] Iskandar: Ruby:  I punched him in the face.

[3/13/2015 10:07:06 PM] Crow: Nice!

[3/13/2015 10:09:07 PM] Crow: How else evil?

[3/13/2015 10:10:02 PM] Iskandar: Jasper:  Well. The infection makes people act evil. Whatever that person thinks evil is.

[3/13/2015 10:10:41 PM] Crow: Oh. ... hope I never get that one.

[3/13/2015 10:12:30 PM] Iskandar: Felix:  It wasn't so bad.

[3/13/2015 10:13:09 PM] Iskandar: Felix:  I mean... it turns out that what people think is evil is informed by the movies and books people read.

[3/13/2015 10:13:28 PM] Crow: Yeah?

[3/13/2015 10:19:34 PM] Crow: How?

[3/13/2015 10:20:26 PM] Iskandar: Felix:  Yeah. Like... it wasn't so much them acting on their base instincts, it was them all suddenly thinking they were supervillains.

[3/13/2015 10:25:42 PM] Iskandar: Felix:  It was really weird. I think it was based on what the imps found funny, you know?

[3/13/2015 10:26:11 PM] Crow: Like... mwahahaha, I shall take over the world?

[3/13/2015 10:26:46 PM] Iskandar: Felix:  Yeah, exactly.

[3/13/2015 10:27:09 PM] Iskandar: Felix:  There was one lady who almost electrocuted herself because she tried to built a tesla coil. For some reason.

[3/13/2015 10:28:28 PM] Crow: Crow snrks.

[3/13/2015 10:28:35 PM] Crow: Why would you need that? That doesn't even make sense.

[3/13/2015 10:32:26 PM] Crow: What else?

[3/13/2015 10:33:00 PM] Iskandar: Ruby:  There's the guy that tried to tie me up. I think he intended to make me his bride? Or something?

[3/13/2015 10:33:30 PM] Crow: Awww, that's cute in a freaky way.

[3/13/2015 10:40:18 PM] Crow: You'd make a beautiful bride!

[3/13/2015 10:40:36 PM] Iskandar: Ruby:  Well, I knocked him out instead.

[3/13/2015 10:40:52 PM] Crow: Good call.

[3/13/2015 10:44:04 PM] Iskandar: Ruby:  Not quite ready to settle down with a crazy crimson-skinned devil man.

[3/13/2015 10:44:23 PM] Crow: Yeah, I'm holdin' out for Vin Diesel.

[3/13/2015 11:01:59 PM] Iskandar: Ruby:  The Iron Giant?

[3/13/2015 11:02:24 PM] Crow: Nah, the nerd who plays D&D.

[3/13/2015 11:42:24 PM] Iskandar: ((Sorry bout that, got wrapped up in the end of the movie. :) ))

[3/13/2015 11:42:38 PM] Iskandar: Jasper rummages through Felix's shelves and containers.

[3/13/2015 11:44:35 PM] Crow: ((Me too!))

[3/13/2015 11:44:56 PM] Crow: That's super attractive.

[3/13/2015 11:47:21 PM] Iskandar: Ruby:  I thought Dungeons and Dragons led to demon worship.

[3/13/2015 11:48:03 PM] Crow: Nah. It can definitely lead to overconsumption of cheetos, though.

[3/14/2015 12:06:29 AM] Iskandar: Jasper pulls out some vials and starts mixing some stuff together! Like, he pulls out an actual mortar and pestle and pulls dried plantlife out of ziplocks and starts grinding it together.

[3/14/2015 12:07:06 AM] Crow: Woah. Doin' it the old fashioned way, huh?

[3/14/2015 12:13:24 AM] Iskandar: Jasper:  You can't get cures to demon poison over the counter.

[3/14/2015 12:14:23 AM] Iskandar: Felix:  And no one believes in vaccinating their kids against demon poison anymore, because of some long-debunked medical fakery linking the vaccine to Dungeons and Dragons playing.

[3/14/2015 12:17:37 AM] Crow: Lame!

[3/31/2015 5:37:11 PM] Simon: ((here.))

[3/31/2015 5:39:30 PM] Crow: ((Yus.))

[3/31/2015 5:41:05 PM] Canto: Crow had been poisoned by a vampire critter and Jasper was mixing up a salve or poultice for her.

[3/31/2015 5:43:04 PM] Crow: Crow was concerned about this!

[3/31/2015 5:46:37 PM] Crow: Are you sure I'm not gonna turn into a vampire?

[3/31/2015 5:47:41 PM] Canto: Jasper:  ... I don't know enough about vampires. Do you know if venom will turn you into a vampire?

[3/31/2015 5:51:29 PM] Crow: Um. I ... don't remember, unfortunately.

[3/31/2015 5:51:43 PM] Crow: Pretty sure fat vampires aren't a thing, though.

[3/31/2015 5:53:00 PM] Canto: Jasper:  i'd guess that it's just poison. It seems to be behaving like a normal poison.

[3/31/2015 5:54:26 PM] Canto: He pokes at your wound.

[3/31/2015 5:55:14 PM] Crow: Ow!

[3/31/2015 5:55:24 PM] Canto: Jasper nods.

[3/31/2015 5:55:55 PM] Crow: I changed my mind. I hate you, Jasper.

[3/31/2015 5:56:19 PM] Crow: Crow sticks out her tongue at him.

[3/31/2015 5:56:52 PM] Canto: Jasper:  I guess we'll just have to wait and see if you're going to become one of the undead.

[3/31/2015 5:57:27 PM] Crow: Well, if so, I'm eating you first. That poke hurt. ... which hey, isn't that good? It was numb before.

[3/31/2015 5:58:13 PM] Canto: Jasper nods. "Yeah, exactly.  It means that it's moving through your system.

[3/31/2015 5:58:46 PM] Crow: I wonder why they do choose the people they do.

[3/31/2015 5:59:30 PM] Crow: Is it just that they're easier to subdue, or do they smell good or something? Or do they go by outer marks of freshness, like ... somebody choosing melons at a grocery store?

[3/31/2015 6:01:11 PM] Crow: The one I knew didn't totally look at it as snack food time.

[3/31/2015 6:01:29 PM] Canto: Jasper goes back to mortar and pestle-ing.

[3/31/2015 6:02:55 PM] Crow: He was a creep who liked it to be nonconsensual. ... hopefully he's learned the meaning of Christmas by now, or maybe just stuck to elk or something, but...

[3/31/2015 6:04:03 PM] Crow: Like, I wonder if there are... hemogamous vampires.

[3/31/2015 6:06:31 PM] Canto: Jasper:  Good question.

[3/31/2015 6:06:53 PM] Canto: He starts spreading some stuff on the wound like spackle!

[3/31/2015 6:07:35 PM] Crow: ... if there are we probably won't meet any, since they wouldn't be bothering anybody else. Assuming a willing donor, anyway.

[3/31/2015 6:08:53 PM] Crow: Ooh, that stings.

[3/31/2015 6:12:11 PM] Canto: Jasper:  That is probably a good sign.

[3/31/2015 6:13:57 PM] Crow: Yeah, it's not numb. Owwww.

[3/31/2015 6:16:15 PM] Canto: Jasper:  We've got some painkillers if you need. We just need to get this wrapped up tightly.

[3/31/2015 6:16:43 PM] Crow: Nah, I'm okay, I just whine a lot.

[3/31/2015 6:18:13 PM] Canto: Jasper:  Ruby, c'mere and help me with the bandages.

[3/31/2015 6:18:16 PM] Crow: Well, maybe an aspirin.

[3/31/2015 6:18:55 PM] Canto: They wrap some gauze around your midsection! Tightly.

[3/31/2015 6:19:24 PM] Crow: Hrk. No cheeseburgers for the foreseeable future.

[3/31/2015 6:22:22 PM] Canto: Jasper:  How's that feel? Tingly?

[3/31/2015 6:23:56 PM] Crow: Tight.

[3/31/2015 6:24:03 PM] Crow: S'okay, breathing is optional, right?

[3/31/2015 6:24:36 PM] Canto: Ruby:  Yep. The oxygen was inside you all along.

[3/31/2015 6:25:03 PM] Canto: Jasper:  We'll loosen it after a bit, don't worry. So... painkillers?

[3/31/2015 6:25:21 PM] Crow: Just aspirin. or advil or whatever.

[3/31/2015 6:25:41 PM] Canto: They give you some advil!

[3/31/2015 6:26:04 PM] Crow: Crow takes it.

[3/31/2015 6:27:41 PM] Canto: Jasper:  Okay. Just lay down on your back and take it easy for a bit. We still have a ways to drive.

[3/31/2015 6:28:41 PM] Crow: Aww. We'll have to postpone the bronco busting and the swing dance!

[3/31/2015 6:29:30 PM] Canto: Jasper:  Just for a little longer.

[3/31/2015 6:30:13 PM] Crow: What about the orgy and the cattle rustlin'?

[3/31/2015 6:32:21 PM] Canto: Jasper:  Not on my watch. You'll have to wait until I get my own seperate hotel room.

[3/31/2015 6:32:31 PM] Canto: Felix:  Aww. I had my mask picked out.

[3/31/2015 6:32:45 PM] Crow: ... what on earth would we do with a cow if we got one?

[3/31/2015 6:34:00 PM] Canto: Ruby:  Start a farm?

[3/31/2015 6:36:19 PM] Crow: Have you ever been on a farm?

[3/31/2015 6:38:37 PM] Canto: Ruby:  Not once.

[3/31/2015 6:38:43 PM] Canto: Ruby:  I've played Farmville.

[3/31/2015 6:39:01 PM] Crow: It's a lot less cute in real life.

[3/31/2015 6:39:04 PM] Crow: Crow lies down on her back.

[3/31/2015 6:41:59 PM] Canto: The salve is tingly!

[3/31/2015 6:42:30 PM] Crow: Heh.

[3/31/2015 6:42:38 PM] Canto: Jasper:  What?

[3/31/2015 6:43:12 PM] Crow: It tickles, that's all.

[3/31/2015 6:43:29 PM] Canto: Jasper:  Well, that's good. It means it's working. You want some tea?

[3/31/2015 6:43:48 PM] Crow: Yeah, but only if I can be at least kinda diagonal to drink it.

[3/31/2015 6:45:05 PM] Canto: Jasper nods! Ruby helps put a ew pillows behind you to prop you up a bit.

[3/31/2015 6:45:54 PM] Crow: Thanks!

[3/31/2015 6:46:00 PM] Crow: I'll remember this when I turn into a slavering bloodfiend.

[3/31/2015 6:47:30 PM] Canto: Ruby:  You'll let us know if that happens, right?

[3/31/2015 6:49:01 PM] Crow: Sure!

[3/31/2015 6:49:19 PM] Canto: Felix:  Appreciate it!

[3/31/2015 6:54:45 PM] Canto: You drive for about an hour or so. you have some tea. The tingling subsides after awhile. You feel no thirst for the blood of your friends.

[3/31/2015 7:00:41 PM] Crow: I vahhhhn to suck your chooooocolate.

[3/31/2015 7:01:09 PM] Canto: Ruby:  ... how is that different than normal?

[3/31/2015 7:03:53 PM] Crow: It's not! Which is great!

[3/31/2015 7:04:10 PM] Canto: Felix:  The fake accent is new.

[3/31/2015 7:06:20 PM] Crow: And fake!

[3/31/2015 7:08:04 PM] Crow: So ready to beat up some zombies right now.

[3/31/2015 7:08:46 PM] Canto: Jasper sits on the bed. "Let's get that bandage loosened up, then.

[3/31/2015 7:09:03 PM] Crow: Already? It's only been an hour.

[3/31/2015 7:10:40 PM] Canto: Jasper:  Long enough for the poultice to do its work. We'll put some clean bandages on there next.

[3/31/2015 7:12:56 PM] Crow: Huh. Jasper, you're magic.

[3/31/2015 7:14:23 PM] Canto: Jasper:  No. Just a repositiory of occasionally useful information. The poultice will have neutralized the worst of the poison, but the wound will still take some time to heal.

[3/31/2015 7:15:45 PM] Crow: Maaaaaaaagic. And in denial.

[3/31/2015 7:18:07 PM] Canto: Jasper:  The poison still has to work its way through your system. I'd expect to get nauseous.

[3/31/2015 7:19:28 PM] Crow: Aww. No more foods, then.

[3/31/2015 7:20:29 PM] Canto: Jasper:  Probably not.

[3/31/2015 7:22:01 PM] Canto: He sets to unwrapping the bandage!

[3/31/2015 7:24:58 PM] Crow: Crow looks, interestedly.

[3/31/2015 7:25:21 PM] Canto: Jasper:  ...huh.

[3/31/2015 7:25:43 PM] Crow: Is a facehugger gonna pop out?

[3/31/2015 7:26:36 PM] Canto: He starts cleaning it with a wet cloth! It stings a little, but not that much. "... it's much more healed that I thought it would be.  The swelling and redness is almost totally gone.

[3/31/2015 7:26:58 PM] Crow: Yer a wizard, Jasper.

[3/31/2015 7:29:55 PM] Canto: Jasper:  No... not me. I've used this poultice before, it's never had this effect.

[3/31/2015 7:30:43 PM] Crow: Well, it's not me. They only put stuff in my brain and made me exercise a lot.

[3/31/2015 7:33:07 PM] Canto: Jasper:  Yeah, but you have your weird sensing mojo, too.

[3/31/2015 7:35:20 PM] Crow: Yeah, but that's just a creepy feeling.

[3/31/2015 7:35:31 PM] Crow: I'm not, like... Wolverine.

[3/31/2015 7:36:11 PM] Canto: Felix:  You're no Hugh Jackman. No offense.

[3/31/2015 7:36:43 PM] Crow: ... I dunno, I can sing, I can dance.

[3/31/2015 7:37:06 PM] Canto: Felix:  how bout the claws, you have the claws?

[3/31/2015 7:38:46 PM] Crow: Nope.

[3/31/2015 7:38:50 PM] Crow: ... alas.

[3/31/2015 7:39:10 PM] Crow: That would look way cooler than my machetes.

[3/31/2015 7:42:34 PM] Canto: Jasper: Well. I don't know how to explain it. let's get some clean bandages on it.

[3/31/2015 7:43:23 PM] Crow: Right.

[3/31/2015 7:43:28 PM] Crow: Crow sits still so that they can!

[3/31/2015 7:44:17 PM] Canto: The bandage it up! not as tightly this time, so it's a bit more comfy.

[3/31/2015 7:45:59 PM] Crow: Right. Time to kill some zombies.

[3/31/2015 7:46:02 PM] Crow: Remove the head, right?

[3/31/2015 7:46:47 PM] Canto: Felix:  Oh, we still have an hour and some change before we get there. But yeah.

[3/31/2015 7:51:43 PM] Crow: Yeah? Whatcha wanna do?

[3/31/2015 7:52:34 PM] Canto: Felix:  I don't know. I could stick this baby on cruise control so we could all watch a movie.

[3/31/2015 7:54:18 PM] Crow: I don't think it works that way.

[3/31/2015 7:56:27 PM] Canto: Felix:  Me neither. Well, you guys could put a movie on and crank the volume so I can hear it. Or I could put on my "You're the Best Around" mixtape for an hour.

[3/31/2015 7:57:44 PM] Crow: Well, you are the best. But yeah, I think you're just gonna have to listen.

[3/31/2015 7:57:49 PM] Crow: Crow kisses him on the cheek.

[3/31/2015 7:57:50 PM] Crow: What movie?

[3/31/2015 8:00:47 PM] Canto: Ruby:  Rules are, whoever got poisoned by a monster has to choose.

[3/31/2015 8:01:35 PM] Crow: Oh, shoot, that's me.

[3/31/2015 8:01:47 PM] Crow: Which versions of Hamlet do we have? Kidding, kidding.

[3/31/2015 8:02:57 PM] Canto: Felix:  You have poison on the brain. Though there could stand to be more musical versions of that. I mean, besides Lion King.

[3/31/2015 8:03:33 PM] Crow: Ooh, a musical, good idea.

[3/31/2015 8:04:26 PM] Crow: Grease?

[3/31/2015 8:10:00 PM] Canto: Felix:  I do not own Grease. Travolta.

[3/31/2015 8:10:17 PM] Crow: Aww.

[3/31/2015 8:10:31 PM] Crow: Little Mermaid?

[3/31/2015 8:10:50 PM] Canto: Felix:  I think I have that one.

[3/31/2015 8:10:57 PM] Canto: He oes indeed!

[3/31/2015 8:11:46 PM | Edited 8:11:54 PM] Crow: As long as you don't have Pocahontas.

[3/31/2015 8:12:06 PM] Crow: Terrible noble savages crap.

[3/31/2015 8:12:20 PM] Canto: Felix:  No. Mel Gibson.

[3/31/2015 8:12:23 PM] Crow: Crow puts in Little Mermaid and snuggles whoever doesn't object!

[3/31/2015 8:15:56 PM] Canto: Ruby does not.

[3/31/2015 8:17:03 PM] Crow: Crow snuggles Ruby, then!

[3/31/2015 9:06:34 PM] Canto: So you watch the LIttle Mermaid. About halfway through, you do start to get nauseous.

[3/31/2015 9:06:51 PM] Crow: Crow sneaks off to the bathroom.

[3/31/2015 9:10:16 PM] Canto: Easy enough! Once you throw up a bit, you feel tons better. Theres an overall impression that the poison worked its way through your system very quickly.

[3/31/2015 9:11:00 PM] Crow: Crow swishes some water and spits, and then returns to the couch!

[3/31/2015 9:18:21 PM] Crow: Crow super-cuddles!

[3/31/2015 9:55:11 PM] Canto: After awhile, felix calls out. "Okay.  Coming up on zombie-ville."

[3/31/2015 9:57:07 PM] Crow: Take the heads, right? Think it's the contagious kind of zombiedom?

[3/31/2015 9:59:01 PM] Canto: Felix:  The bullshit zombie virus nonsense? Nope. It's always reanimated corpses.

[3/31/2015 10:00:24 PM] Crow: Oh, good. Less worried now!

[3/31/2015 10:02:31 PM] Canto: Jasper:  And it's always some creature that's doing it. A mutated animal or monster or person.

[3/31/2015 10:03:56 PM] Crow: Does killing the source help, or will Jasper have to, uh.... de-evil the graveyard?

[3/31/2015 10:07:38 PM] Canto: Jasper:  I'll reconsecrate it in any case. If it's a monster, we can kill it, and that will solve it.

[3/31/2015 10:08:13 PM] Crow: Sounds like a plan!

[3/31/2015 10:09:06 PM] Canto: Jasper:  If it's a person, well, that could be a bit different.

[3/31/2015 10:13:36 PM] Crow: ... oh.

[3/31/2015 10:13:38 PM] Crow: What do we do then?

[3/31/2015 10:13:59 PM] Crow: .... I've never killed a person.

[3/31/2015 10:15:11 PM] Canto: Ruby:  Well, depends on the person. It could be that said person isn't doing it on purpose. Those are boring cause it means that they have some issues and then Jasper talks to them and helps them and they stop raising the dead.

[3/31/2015 10:15:58 PM] Crow: Probably better, though.

[3/31/2015 10:17:32 PM] Canto: Ruby:  Boring, though.

[3/31/2015 10:18:38 PM] Canto: Ruby:  If it's some asshat who's raising the dead on purpose, we beat them unconcious and hand them over to the police.

[3/31/2015 10:19:04 PM] Canto: Jasper:  then we put in a call to Albert, who makes sure they're secured somewhere without bodies to reanimate.

[3/31/2015 10:21:06 PM] Crow: Crow nods.

[3/31/2015 10:21:08 PM] Crow: Okay.

[3/31/2015 10:23:48 PM] Canto: Felix:  That's from a sample size of two, though. All the other times there's been zombies, it's been some kind of monster.

[3/31/2015 10:24:03 PM] Crow: What kind?

[3/31/2015 10:27:07 PM] Canto: Felix:  Well, there was a wolf creature whose howl raised the dead. Then a plant creature that exuded these vines and, I dunno, spores or something.

[3/31/2015 10:27:29 PM] Crow: Ewww.

[3/31/2015 10:27:50 PM] Crow: Okay, what's our best tactics here? I don't think anybody should be alone. I mean, I've seen monster movies.

[3/31/2015 10:30:37 PM] Canto: Jasper:  first, we figure out where the cemetary is. The source, as it will. And yes, we shouldn't split up.

[3/31/2015 10:31:04 PM] Crow: And nobody goes to find the fusebox when the lights go out, either.